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Not making any money online? Frustrated?

Don’t worry; it’s simple. You’re clearly not winning because of the following reasons.

1. You’re An Idiot

It’s true. You’re not the smartest cookie, are you? You’re like a Happy Meal without the fries. And the toy. And the packaging. Yeah. Just a burger on the ground. Without the bun.

And, you’ve heard the pitch…

“Let’s face it – your website sucks. Let me make it good for you. I only charge $800 an hour.”

That’s a horrible pitch. The sick part is that it actually works; sometimes. It’s like spam email. If it didn’t work, spammers would give up.

Don’t start by telling people why they suck. Don’t start by telling people what you do. Start by adding value to people.

The hilarious part is that I just violated this principle. Oh well. At least there was something good about what I just said.

2. You’re Not Adding Value

Look, it’s all about the four E’s and the one I:

  • Entertain: have fun, make people laugh, make your product or service interesting.
  • Educate: answer questions and provide useful information. Organize the mess going on in people’s heads.
  • Engage: be real and connect with people.
  • Empower: give people the tools to take action (make your content actionable). Help them overcome fears.
  • Inform: this is the same as educate. Word.

Got it?

3. You’re Not “To The Maximum!”

You have to be stoked and excited and jazzed all the time. Just like I am! Just like Gary Vee!

Gary Vee

You’ve got to be like, be like Gary Vee…

You’ve got to be to the maximum!

Okay, you’re probably thinking, “that’s not a real thing”.

Actually, it is.

Enthusiasm counts for a heck of a lot. Successful people always talk about it. So it must be true.

Me? Who cares. This post is about you!

So, get fired up and buy our products like it was going out of style.

4. Your Mom

You’re in the habit of taking things too seriously and you don’t have enough fun. Business is all about fun, bro. Get with the times.

Ha! I made a point out of not-a-point. I showed you, blog post. Take that!

5. You’re Not Winning in Life

Winning creates positive forward momentum. If you’re not winning, there’s only one reason for it; you’re setting the bar too freaking high!

Make goals that you can actually achieve, you dimwit. You’re in control. If your goal is to do 10 pushups tomorrow, so be it. Just do the 10 pushups for goodness’ sake.

When you win, you win again. Then, you win some more. Then you keep winning.

The opposite? You lose, lose, lose and lose some more.

6. You’re Not Failing Enough

Really, this is real thing.

If you’re not winning or losing, you’re not trying.

It’s like what that big chin Tony Robbins guy says; you got a result. You will always get a result when you try something. If it doesn’t go the way you hoped it would, you learn from it, dude!

Tony Robbins


Was it Tony Robbins who said that? Oh well, who cares. Someone said it.

I said it. I’ll take credit for it.

7. You’re Not Subscribed to BorkMeow


If you aren’t subscribed to us, you won’t win at anything in life.


So, get your poop in a group and subscribe. While you’re at it, look at all our content and buy all our stuff.

Get on board and watch your business go up and to the right. No, I don’t mean boring bar charts. I mean your business will literally and physically go upwards in a diagonal direction, like it was defying the laws of gravity. Better grab hold of it while you can!

Making Any Money Online Conclusion

Now you’re equipped with everything you need to make money online. You don’t need anything additional. This guide contains everything.

If you ever feel like you’re missing something, just read this again. Do it. Do it, do it.

No, I’m not just stuffing additional words like marketing, promotion, business, money, making money, social media and so on just to increase our website’s SEO value. Don’t look at me like that. I’m NOT!

Okay, that’s that. This is the complete encyclopendium of online marketing. If you didn’t find it here, it’s worth as much as your Friends DVD collection in 2020.

Oh, there is one exception – anything you find on this website. That should be considered valuable learning material.